Try it! You’ll like it! (How sometimes the best things in our lives seem foreign at first)
I love to tell the story of how I met my doctoral dissertation chair and mentor, David Boje (www.peaceaware.com). I was a student, about to begin a qualitative research methods class, and I had read ahead over the break. I sat down in the classroom with a friend and we were discussing the books for the course. I liked one book very much, but I proceeded to complain about the other one. I did not like it at all. I self-righteously whined to my friend in a display of obnoxious pettiness that I hope never to exhibit again. She had better social skills than I did and told me in a hushed whisper, “The author is standing right there.”
That night at dinner, he sat across from me, never saying a word about my rudeness and shallow lack of understanding. Note: Today that book is my “go to” reference for qualitative research (Boje, 2001). I had simply not been ready for the material, which was over my head at the time and ultimately ended up redefining my idea of what it means to do research. The next day David became my dissertation chair, making me the rare oddity among the terminally degreed that can say that she actually worked with the same committee members for the entire lengthy dissertation process. We had a unified team that supported my research and asked the right questions, absent any drama whatsoever. David and his wife, Grace Ann Rosile, have patiently put up with my professional and personal quirks for the last four years and continue to do so, as only patient, loving souls are want to do. They have been a tremendous force for good in my work and in my life.
So why tell the story? Even though I was still steeped in ego and ignorance at that point, something inside of me was open enough to take a chance and see what I could learn. That learning was and remains an important part of the unfolding, transformational journey that is my life’s work. Had I not been blessed by serendipity, I might still have finished my doctorate, but my old mindset may very well have kept me in my old, unsatisfying job. I might not know the scary parts- the risks and complications of what I do now, but I also probably wouldn’t have been blessed to know so many wonderful scholars who blow my mind routinely. I might not even know the joy of this creative work that comes from deep inside. I would be a different, less fulfilled person today.
So this posting is a call for openness, for belief in possibility. What about you? What opportunities might present themselves if you try learning from someone whose work confuses you at the outset? What deep friendships and opportunities might be born of that learning? Are you willing to embrace your own growth?
Copyright Gly Solutions, LLC 2014
Boje, D. (2001). Narrative Methods for Organizational & Communication Research. London, UK: SAGE.
