Pick your poison (or your passion): some thoughts on choice and habits
I have been thinking a lot about choices lately. As a solo-preneur there are choices about what business to pursue, whom to collaborate with, which engagements to accept, what organizations to join, etc. Socially we choose whom to spend time with, whom to call, and what hobbies we pursue. Which jobs do we apply for? What kind of work do we elect to do? Of course, for every choice there is an opportunity cost. If I am networking I am not writing. If I am volunteering I am not consulting. If I am teaching yoga or a business class I am not spending that time with my friends and family, etc.
What if we thought about our choices in very simple terms? We might think of it this way. In each moment of choice we have inputs: a combination of our past experiences, influences of others, and our patterns of what we typically do. Under any set of circumstances we can choose to continue with our existing patterns or try to do something differently— IF we can look at our experiences objectively enough to recognize the patterns. If you have ever “stepped in it” with a client or a friend and asked yourself, “Why do I keep doing that?” you are on the right track. If you just read that and said, “I never do that,” it may be time for DNA testing to ensure you are, in fact, human! If we recognize those circumstances and behaviors that we see over and over again on large and small scales in our lives and work, the good and the bad, we can begin to shed the bad habits and replace them with good ones.
For example, for the last few years, every time I have had unpleasant dealings with others- personally and professionally, there has been a common thread. It has occurred when I have neglected my yoga practice. I have observed the pattern over time and I know that if I stay off of the mat for a few days I will not be my best in dealing with others or accomplishing my goals professionally. I have a choice in every moment to continue the pattern that works for me (yoga as an indispensible part of my routine) or to do something different (choose not to practice on a given day). Of course the rationalizations for skipping it are always quite convincing— at least my ego thinks so! In the end, whatever I choose instead of my practice ends up forgotten as I miss the mark in other ways. It’s a pattern. I am aware of it and try to practice some form of yoga every day. File this habit under “something I need to function well.” It doesn’t have to be yoga. Every person has his or her own “thing” — art, music, cooking, running, golf, reading — something that is indispensible to being your best self across the board.
Absent an obvious connection like this, how might we choose generative patterns? How do we use our time well in the face of myriad possibilities? The simple answer lies in the principle of alignment. In business strategy, alignment has to do with making sure that a company’s resources, labor, marketing, and other efforts, are used in ways that are consistent with the organization’s mission. For example, if I am running a shoe factory, then, by and large, my resources should be used in ways that promote shoe production. Each time we choose whether to do what we usually do or try something new, in any situation, be it professional or personal, we should do an alignment check[1]. In business, we check our organization’s mission when setting goals. In our personal lives it comes down to alignment with our life’s purpose, with who we are as individuals and — most of all— who we want to be. Will doing this thing help or hinder what I am really trying to accomplish?
This takes us back to a favorite soapbox of mine, self-awareness. When we have done the work to figure out who we are and what we hope to accomplish we can begin to effectively check the alignment of our choices with who we want to be. In the Bhagavad Gita, one of the epic poems of India, there is a lot of attention given to the notion of dharma. A person’s dharma is his or her God-given duty or purpose in the world. If we act in accordance with our dharma, things go well, but when our behaviors and choices are at odds with who we are and what we are meant to contribute to the world, trouble ensues. Each moment offers us the chance to choose, learn, and grow; one bad choice doesn’t prevent the next 1,000 ones from being good ones.
So how about you? Do you know your purpose, at home and at work? Do most of your choices and habits support that? If not, maybe it is time to do something differently.
Copyright Gly Solutions, LLC 2014
The Bhagavad Gita. (2007). (E. Easwaran, Trans. E. Easwaran Ed.). Tomales, CA: Nilgiri Press.
Deleuze, G. (1994). Difference and Repetition (P. Patton, Trans. English translation ed.). New York, NY: Columbia University Press.
Wakefield, T. H. (2012). An ontology of storytelling systemicity: Management, fractals and the Waldo Canyon fire. (Doctorate of Management Doctoral dissertation), Colorado Technical University, Colorado Springs, CO.
[1] Note: This is not an argument against sustainability-related activities, which are a matter of ethics and long-term survival for any organization.
