Hooray! You’ve spread your wings! Now… Can you hold them there?
I have been fortunate enough to step (or be shoved) out of my comfort zone many times, both professionally and personally‑ almost always with very positive results.
It’s hard.
It’s awkward.
Worst of all, results aren’t always immediate; it takes persistence to keep our hard won gains.
News flash! Finding the courage to spread your wings and take that initial leap of faith just isn’t enough. You have to stick with it and develop discipline in new (often scary) ways. Sometimes you just have to bite your tongue, bear down, and wait for your wings to dry, testing them periodically as they grow stronger and trying again each time you realize they weren’t quite ready. Then there is the polite dismissal of the people who say, “What are you doing spreading those wings? That’s crazy! Don'tcha know you’re a caterpillar at heart?”
The worst part for many of us, however, is the voice of our own inner critic. With new ideas it can be especially daunting early on. It can feel as if everyone you talk to expects perfectly baked gingerbread while you are still mixing the dough and adjusting the recipe. You see the finished product in your mind’s eye and hold yourself to an impossibly high standard. (Writer’s block, anyone???) Maybe you never have those kinds of doubts, or your internal naysayer is easily shooed away, like a gnat buzzing around you on a hike. If so, you can close this page and go read something else. Otherwise, read on!
Taking a leap of faith is courageous and difficult, but unless you stick to your guns over the long haul, it doesn't make much difference. A new career, idea, or relationship requires not only risk, but also a willingness to stay the course long enough to make the change stick. Barring that, at least stay with it long enough to suck the marrow out of the experience and learn something from it!
So how do we do that?
Every New Year’s resolution gym rat can tell you that creating (and keeping) new habits requires hard work and repetition over a prolonged period of time. Building a new theory, a business, a life… those things require commitment to embodied practices over time. Sitting down at the computer and writing, unrolling that yoga mat, clearing calendar space for special people, making necessary phone calls… Each time I do these things, I reinforce behavior patterns that improve my life and my business. I claim ownership of the life I have chosen.
My wings grow stronger. …flap…flap…flap!
I’ll be a little vulnerable and share a story to drive the point home.
Old habits really do die hard. We can learn new skills and make changes at will, but at the end of the day, it takes practice to truly embrace a new way of being. I just spent several very productive days at a retreat working on equanimity, among other things. Imagine my horror when I allowed myself to become visibly anxious before I even made it out the door to go home!
The airport shuttle arrived late. Afraid of missing my flight, I tried calling to be sure it was actually coming, worrying about what I would do if it didn’t arrive at all. Finding the correct phone number and connecting took several tries and my annoyance must have seemed a bit comical to my friends. Of course, one of them would have taken me had the driver not come in time, but that didn’t occur to me then. They were kind, but they can’t have missed my slip- as I fell headlong into a (moderate but obvious) bout of self-generated drama right before their eyes... Despite my anxiousness, I arrived at the airport in plenty of time. There was no line at the terminal. Security was a breeze, and my flight was delayed by a few minutes anyway. I had gotten excited for absolutely no reason, clearly failing to apply what I had just learned!
Yikes! How quickly we forget.
I am not telling the story to beat myself up, but to give an example of how new skills require commitment and practice. I had just spread my wings in a new and productive way, but then I allowed them to unconsciously retract for a moment. It wasn’t enough for me to simply learn new techniques. Like every other endeavor, this will take practice. In the wake of these kinds of reflections, we must give ourselves grace in order to move forward. I laughed about it with my companions in the airport van and resolved to keep at it. When my wings get tired, I try to notice it, stretch them back out, and stay the course.
This is another example of yoga as a metaphor for life and work. We improve any yoga posture through conscious practice, adjusting our bodies as we fall out of position. We don’t curse ourselves for losing our balance or allowing our arms to drop. We simply notice and adjust, coming back to the desired posture with renewed effort. The same holds true for assuming a new posture in business or in our personal lives. It’s all about practicing, noticing how things are going, and adjusting as we go.
What about you? Have you ever backslid when making a change? (Be honest with yourself here.) Yes?
…Congratulations! You are a true blue, bonafied human being! Now shake out those wings and spread them again!
If it were easy everybody would do it.
Copyright 2014 Gly Solutions, LLC
