Is your life’s work competing with your life? Four tips to turn that tug of war into a tango!
I was on an airplane bound for LAX, en route to a conference when I struck up a conversation with my seatmate. She was congenial, a former chemical engineer who is now a buyer for a kitchen store and delighted with her current job. When it was time to take off we each went back to our reading materials and as the flight attendant made the announcement to fasten our seatbelts, she leaned over and showed me the wording in her book, on the page she was reading. The flight attendant’s words were eerily the same as those on the page. Oddly enough, I was reading Carl Jung’s (1960) book, Synchronicity. In the passage my book was open to, he describes precisely these kinds of occurrences as being acausal yet somehow linked in space, time, and the human psyche. I showed the woman my book and we laughed.
Apparently synchronicity is a co-creative phenomenon— one with a sense of humor!
I won’t delve into the many possible explanations, since that conversation is way too long for a a blog entry. It would also take me and the reader on a wild ride down some intellectual rabbit holes to say the least!
Instead I’ll simply accept it as yet another example of work and life coming together in delightful and unexpected ways. Since I decided to build a career around new ideas about organizational development I find that I have a lot more moments like this, some quite profound. I was finally living and working "on purpose." The absence of cognitive dissonance (feeling ill at ease because of believing one thing and doing another) creates an openness that can be quite delightful!
Chance meetings lead to great conversations, insights, and opportunities more often than not now that I worry less and welcome new possibilities with open arms.
For me, life and work come together in ways that are sometimes coincidental, sometimes odd, but alwyas generative. This is true of the little things like my conversation on the airplane, and big things like meeting new clients and collaborators where I least expect it.
The reason for my trip was to attend the annual meeting of the Standing Conference for Management and Organizational Inquiry (SCMOI) in Las Vegas. It was a short trip for me— a paper and a brief talk, a chance to listen to some great minds and learn, and a chance to get feedback. The theme of the conference was Work-life balance in academia.
My perspective was different than most. As a consultant, independent researcher, and adjunct professor, I am not an academic in the purest sense, nor am I 100% an entrepreneur. I stand on the border between two worlds— academia and industry, with one foot in each, although standing still is really not a common occurrence, as members of either cohort well know! This is the place where lived experience meets theory and seeks understanding. It is also where theory looks to the world for confirmation. It is unstable ground that shifts all the time. It requires both purpose and flexibility. It is wild and untamed, terra incognita, and I love it! Maybe that is why I see things a little differently these days, when it comes to work-life balance. My perspective has shifted from a belief that life and work must be balanced, to one of integration.
So often we consider work and life to be forces competing for our increasingly limited time, like two hungry kittens sharing the same bowl of milk.
...Yet for me, I find that a vocation tied to your life’s purpose allows life and work to engage in a beautiful, passionate tango that leaves you grinning and gasping for air.
THIS is the space of living story. It is the home of creativity as life and work become part of the same sociomaterial emergence. When people and organizations are behaving in ways that Wayne Dyer would call “on purpose,” they evoke patterns of behavior, processes, and culture that facilitate strategic alignment. In yogic philosophy this is referred to as living according to one’s dharma, a person’s own particular duty or life’s purpose.
Somewhere along the way it became clear to me that honoring family time and taking care of my health support my work and that doing a good job brings not only satisfaction but resources that make it possible to live a richer, fuller, ideally more generous life.
How can this be? How does goofing off with my child or making time for a dinner date become part of my business?
Some aspects must be kept separate, financial records and travel expenses, for example… but bookkeeping notwithstanding, it is simple to align all manner of activities in a way that stomps out cognitive dissonance. It becomes possible to make your life’s work nourish your spirit in ways that, well… make life work!
A few of my colleagues were quick to point out that many people feel like they have limited choices in terms of starting over the way I did with my career and they had a point; we all have constraints, of course, myself included! Realizing that a full-blown career change may not be a gamble you are willing to take, here are four simple things you might try, if you are inclined to inch toward this brand of work life integration.
1. Take a long-term view.
Think: Think about sustainability when it comes to your personal wellbeing. Regardless of the role you play, be it entrepreneur, CEO, professor, or factory worker, you have a physical body that must be taken care of for you to function.
Consider your car. If you never changed the oil or had it serviced, didn’t clean it out, and even avoided getting gas… or put the wrong kind of fuel in the tank because you were in a rush … how long would it last? How long would it take before you found yourself broken down on the side of the road?
Have you ever neglected your body until you got sick and had to miss work? …Sigh. Me too.
Do: Eat right. Exercise. Take the time to laugh with friends.
Results: If you honor your need to take care of your body and your psyche as a part of the equation, you can expect fewer sick days, less physical pain, a longer life and career, and better focus.
2. Become more efficient!
Think: How much time do you spend spinning your wheels, whether it is looking for something that was misplaced, compensating for an error, or dealing with negative emotions?
Do: Get organized. Making lists— then scheduling time on the calendar for going back through your to-do list and actually returning those phone calls can really help. Make a project plan for that conference you are helping to organize or the book you are writing. Shred those extra papers you don’t need and try not to fall behind on administrative and housekeeping tasks so they don’t become daunting monstrosities that are hard to face later on.
Result: When you spend less time searching for your glasses or feeling guilty about not returning a phone call, it is easier to be efficient and effective. That buys you time for more important things.
3. Take time to breathe!
Think: Incubation is part of the creative process. Consider some downtime so you can think more clearly and be more focused when you are on task. (Confession— I really have to work at this, as my teenaged son will attest.)
Do: Put down the computer and recharge your batteries.
Results: When we work 24-7, we are seldom as productive as when we take needed breaks and return to the job refreshed and focused. A ten-minute walk or a brief session on your yoga mat can make all the difference in the world. If you are bad at simply taking time off, try scheduling in your time for family, friends, and even self-care as you would any other appointment. Covey (1989) famously called this “sharpening the saw.”
4. Give yourself some love!
Think: Take stock, but do it in an appreciative way. What are the reasons that you love your work? What aspects of it really nourish your soul? Can these aspects sustain you when the going gets tough?
Do: Make a list of the things you love about what you do and the reasons why you do it. Taking a page from Cooperrider’s (1986, 2005) appreciative inquiry playbook, take a blank page and write this at the top. “On the days when I really love my job, this is what it is like.” Consider your proudest moment at work and write about that on the page. Use lots of adjectives. Decorate it with pictures or cartoon drawings in vivid colors. Post it in a conspicuous place in your office and use it to draw inspiration from.
Result: When the going gets tough you will have a visible reminder of what matters most. On the flip side, if your page is blank, it might be time to polish your resume!
There are plenty of other ways to bring your work and life together in harmonious ways, but these might get you started. At the end of the day, it’s important to be inspired by what you do for a living and the reasons why. Without that, reaching burnout is just a matter of time. There will always be trade-offs, necessary tasks that are less about joy and more about being responsible, but if the main thrust of your professional life is in a direction that feeds your soul, it may be less tempting to make mountains out of molehills.
So what about you? Are you balancing work and life like two kids on a teeter-totter or have the two learned to play together? Could they even learn to dance?
Does your life’s work help make your life work?
If not, what can you change about it?
Copyright Gly Solutions, LLC 2015
References:
Cooperrider, David L. 1986. "Appreciative inquiry: Toward a methodology for understanding and enhancing organizational innovation." Ph.D., Department of Organizational Behavior, Case Western Reserve (8611485).
Cooperrider, David L., and Diana Whitney. 2005. Appreciative inquiry: A positive revolution in change. San Francisco, CA: Berrett-Koehler Publishers.
Covey, Steven R. 1989. Seven habits of highly effective people: Simon & Schuster.
Jung, Carl G. 1960. Synchronicity. Vol. 8, The Collected Works of C.G. Jung, Bollengen Series XX. Princeton, NJ and Oxford: Princeton University Press. Original edition, 1960.
