Quit obsessing over details! ...How perfectionism robs us of time and the joy of accomplishment
I have been thinking a lot lately about how to become more efficient and make my business grow. No big surprise there! We all think about that, whether we are in business for ourselves or engaged in another line of work. I write about time management and work-life integration a lot, but this week I want to get at one of the big ways that some of us self-sabotage when it comes to accomplishment.
It’s perfectionism and it is my curse.
For some people perfectionism can be so overwhelming that they don’t even start on large projects, or start on them too late to do a good job. I tend to get them started, but take longer than necessary to finish because I pick at the tiniest things. That said, I usually get a lot of work done in a short period of time, but I sometimes wonder how much more I could accomplish if I didn’t agonize over minutiae.
While attention to detail is an important part of professionalism, taken to an extreme it can become a time sink and rob us of the joy of accomplishment.
I will share a few examples from my own experience to drive the point home. When it was time to defend my doctoral dissertation, my mentor had to insist that I was ready, something I did not believe in the slightest. My defense went great. I was more than ready, yet left to my own devices I might have continued to work on it until I became a very old woman.
When I got the first hard copy of a book with my name on the cover, I opened it up, immediately noticed a tiny mistake and closed it. It’s a really good book, a collaboration of scholars from around the world, all of whom are insightful and brilliant, but I had a hard time celebrating my part in that accomplishment.
I just coauthored another book. I think we came up with some really profound insights and offer some practical techniques, but I keep wishing I had more time to go back and edit a bit more... Alas, there was a deadline and it’s gone for typesetting.
In each case, the bird was ready to fly but had to be pushed out of the nest!
The challenge is to learn to push ourselves out of the nest, to learn to leap without prodding, and celebrate every moment that we manage to stay aloft!
This is where yoga comes in. In yoga we work to be present in the moment, practicing nonattachment to outcomes yet remaining engaged and striving to improve everything we do. We work really hard on the mat, but try not to obsess about the shortcomings of our own practice or the limitations of our bodies.
This way of being is like kryptonite for perfectionism!
...Nonattachment is like the yogi ray gun that blasts the “not good enough” monster to smithereens!
I am not advocating apathy here, nor am I telling you not to plan or do risk management. …That wouldn’t get you very far in business or in life!
By all means, plan ahead; save for a rainy day; and think things through. Set big goals that point you in the direction of your life’s purpose, but don’t become so rigidly attached to your plan for getting there that you fail to notice the flowers alongside the road to success.
…What if it’s not really the finish line that matters? What if it is really the air in your lungs, the blood coursing through your veins, and the joy of the run?
Once when I suggested nonattachment as a way to cut down on stress, a friend asked me, “Does that mean you don’t care what happens?” He thought that was pretty messed up! I explained that I do still care very deeply about people, things and ideas that matter, but I try to be in the moment and think more about what I am doing at the time than about what might or might not happen.
Worrying too much about what might happen in the future or obsessing about the ideal outcome often prevents us from taking the very actions we need to take in order to achieve those big, important goals we set.
It’s what some people jokingly call paralysis by analysis. Besides, have you ever heard that "perfect is the enemy of good enough?"
For instance, if I obsess about getting a particular yoga posture right, wanting perfection, I almost never get there. Instead, when I am on the mat, I am constantly adjusting my body parts, one at a time, focusing on improving my form bit by bit. I am too busy DOING that to worry about how I look or if I am doing well, or if I will ever get the posture right.
In this picture of extended side angle, I am in the moment, thinking about alignment, trying to create a straight line from the fingertips of my left hand to the outer edge of my back foot. I am trying not to collapse into my right side or put weight on my right knee as I spin my chest open toward the ceiling, thinking about my breath and settling into the posture. On a good day, I even progress from focusing on alignment and begin to play with variations, adding creativity to the mix if I am lucky.
It’s an act of conscious striving that is satisfying whether it looks pretty or not. Perfection is not necessary to achieve satisfaction.
The result? On the mat, the results become apparent over time. Our form gets prettier as a matter of course. We build strength and balance, become a part of a community of happy, nonjudgmental people, and develop a more easy-going demeanor. We are quick to smile and slow to anger after a time, and it just keeps getting better.
In business, in yoga, and in life, when we learn by doing, there are great benefits to be had. If you get out there and talk to people, you are far more likely to attract clients than you are sitting at home, quietly developing what you consider to be the perfect sales pitch. You have to take chances. Test drive new ideas, even if they aren't finished just yet. Work up a sweat. Practice and improve your skills. Dare to present a face to the world that is imperfect, but authentic, as Brené Brown's work so wisely suggests.
Doing beats wishing every time!
So what about you?
Does perfection rob you of time?
Can you accept where you are now, step into the arena, and celebrate your victories?
Copyright Gly Solutions, LLC 2015
